Week 4

Childhood

Tap, Ballet, hip-hop and jazz.

My life revolved around dancing for about four to five years. I would attend the lessons every night after school at Top Hat Dance studio in Holden, Maine. My best friends: Chelsea, Bekah, Ashley and Allison would be right by my side while practicing the routines. "One and two and three and four, five, six, seven and eight." Instead of having lyrics to my favorite songs in my head it was numbers one through eight, repeating themselves every second of everyday.

Even when I wasn't in the dance studio, I was rehearsing wherever I was, school, home, on the playground, you name it. I was often giggled at by my friends who didn't dance for doing it all the time, but, practice makes perfect.. well almost perfect. My mom was constantly having me practice in front of her as well. I came home one day to find two large mirrors in my basement, "I thought these would be helpful so you can watch yourself dance" my mom said to me as I looked at my reflection.

Dance was what my life revolved around. Countless hours of going over the same steps until they were correct and then moving on to a new eight count. My friends and I lived for our performances which took place at the University of Maine. Our glittery outfits were the best part, as well as caking on make up like there was no tomorrow. By the time we were ready to go on stage we looked like clowns with all our silly eye shadow and lipstick. Our parents would take pictures like there was no tomorrow while we were performing. I would review them with my mom once we got home and in half of them I had my eyes closed because the stage lights were so bright.

I enjoyed the constant repetition of school, dinner, dance for about two to three years. One night over supper my mom suggested that I transfer to Thomas School of Dance in Bangor. I had started to give it some thought but rejected the idea because none of my friends would be with me if I switched over. Like any parent, my mom over time made the decision for me and pulled me out of Top Hat and signed me up at Thomas. I cried and cried because the anxiety of having to make all new friends and meet new dance instructors made me sick to my stomach.

The night came for me to attend my first dance class at Thomas and I was so furious that my mom was close to banding me from the computer for a week. Sitting in the car, I did not say a word and just glared out the window and kept thinking about all my friends back at Top Hat having a wonderful time without me. The car came to a stop and my mom told me we had arrived. I grabbed my nike bag with my dance shoes and slammed the car door shut. Tears were already starting to form in the corners of my eyes as my mom and I walked through the entrance door.

The building was old and the front desk to sign in was taller than I, making the whole situation a lot worse. "Hillary Craig" my mom said to the lady when she asked my name.. the woman told my mom what room to take me to and what my instructors name was. We made our way up the stairs and there was a peculiar smell the hallways had, making me hate the place even more. The dance instructor was a tall older woman who introduced herself as I walked into the studio, I forgot her name instantly simply because I did not even have the interest to remember it. Next thing I knew my mom was saying bye and told me she would pick me up around 8:30.. wonderful, I thought to myself.

After about ten minutes, all the girls had showed up and we all put our jazz shoes on, ready to dance. I stood in the corner by myself, realizing I didn't know or had never even seen any of the girls before.
"Okay ladies, I want half in one corner and half in the other."
I stayed in my corner as everyone else scurried around the room to choose what side they wanted to be on. Music started to play and one by one girls were doing full splits from one side of the room to the other. "What the Hell is this???" I thought to myself, watching the other girls. I was a good dancer but not nearly coordinated enough to do a full splits across the room, my legs were lanky and long. My turn came quickly and I started to cry.. my instructor came over and did not comfort me but instead pushed my front and bag legs down to the ground as far as she could. The pain was very difficult to maintain a she did this until I made it to the other side. By the time my turn was up, all the other girls were standing and watching me. I immediately walked over to my bag and took my dance shoes off, as anyone could guess, I sat there the entire rest of class and waited for my mother to get me.

I never ever step foot back in Thomas School of Dance again. I also never went back to Top Hat, unfortunately the experience ended my dancing career. But as they say "every ending starts a new beginning," that spring I bought my first field hockey stick.