What If
Any man could be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.
Marriage is a 50/50 kind of situation. 50% chance a husband and wife will stay together, 50% chance they will get a divorce. There is no way to predict what could possibly happen between two people who are "in love," whatever that means.
Since I was three months old, I have lived with my mom and her only. I've grown up in believing a family only contains one parent, and honestly I am perfectly okay with that thought. My papa is my "dad" and I cannot imagine it any other way. My mom has been there for me emotionally and financially through out my entire life.. my dad, has not.
What if...
What if?
What if my dad had actually been there for me when I needed him?
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Week 7
Structure
He left her laying there on the cold, hard, winter ground. The two boys he had been riding with sped off as soon as he hit the mustang and she flew off the snowmobile and landed about 15 feet away. Not only did he at first ride off but took the time to come back and move her so it looked like she was the one driving snowmobile. Kyle ran off into the woods as the drivers of the mustang called 911. The first thing the paramedic said when he examined Martina was "she's lucky to be alive."
Kyle had a court date about a year later and within that year he started snorting cocaine and he had raped one of my friends. Also, left a girl up on Chick Hill once he had sex with her in the pouring rain. Kyle is a tall, bulky guy. One that no girl or boy would want to mess with. He is also "crazy," his mood can change in an instant and there is no idea what he could do next. His glasses make him look like a harmless guy, for some, strange reason, glasses always make a person look intelligent and less dangerous. With Kyle, that is total opposite. His body is built enough to make a "tough guy," a coward in seconds.. when he is mad.. he's mad.
I remember talking to Martina one day about Kyle when I went to see how she was doing. "It was the only time I had hung out with him, I never knew he could be so heartless." She explained to me when I asked her about what kind of relationship they had. Scenes popped into my head that I had experienced the year before with Kyle while at a party.
I was sitting at the round table with my three friends playing kings cup when suddenly Scott came bursting through the door. "You guys need to stay in here, I'm serious, why the fuck did I bring Kyle out here?" He questioned himself as he walked back outside. Being three eighteen year old girls, naturally, we went outside on the deck of the house to see what was going on. By the fire pit, there was Kyle holding a hand gun. Not to mention a chain saw was to the right of him on a bench. "Don't fucking come near me Scott, I swear I'll shoot you in the fucking head" Kyle yelled as he held the gun up. Suddenly he started shooting rounds into the air and behind his back without even looking at what he was shooting at. "Get inside" Scott yelled at us, we ran inside, all of us crying.. including his girlfriend. "He's always like this when he drinks.. I hate it, I'm so sorry guys" She said to Nicole and I as we sat side-by-side on a twin bed. Speechless, we all sat there in silence as we listened to Kyle shoot off rounds outside, hoping he wouldn't hit one of the guys. After about two minutes, Kyle stopped shooting the gun and yelling started. Most of it was jumbled together but the one sentence I remember clearly was Craig yelling "what the fuck is wrong with you man?" That's when the screen door came slamming down on the floor with Craig on top of it, Kyle had pushed him so hard it broke the hinges. "I'll fucking kill you man, you don't know what it's like to be me" he screamed at Craig. It took Joey, Scott, Bobby and Jerry to get him off of Craig and out the door. Craig sprinted out and grabbed the gun and chainsaw so Kyle couldn't get a hold of them. Luckily no one was hurt but Kyle was never allowed out to that house ever again.
I glance over at Martina and simply said, "Kyle is heartless, it does not surprise me one bit."
He left her laying there on the cold, hard, winter ground. The two boys he had been riding with sped off as soon as he hit the mustang and she flew off the snowmobile and landed about 15 feet away. Not only did he at first ride off but took the time to come back and move her so it looked like she was the one driving snowmobile. Kyle ran off into the woods as the drivers of the mustang called 911. The first thing the paramedic said when he examined Martina was "she's lucky to be alive."
Kyle had a court date about a year later and within that year he started snorting cocaine and he had raped one of my friends. Also, left a girl up on Chick Hill once he had sex with her in the pouring rain. Kyle is a tall, bulky guy. One that no girl or boy would want to mess with. He is also "crazy," his mood can change in an instant and there is no idea what he could do next. His glasses make him look like a harmless guy, for some, strange reason, glasses always make a person look intelligent and less dangerous. With Kyle, that is total opposite. His body is built enough to make a "tough guy," a coward in seconds.. when he is mad.. he's mad.
I remember talking to Martina one day about Kyle when I went to see how she was doing. "It was the only time I had hung out with him, I never knew he could be so heartless." She explained to me when I asked her about what kind of relationship they had. Scenes popped into my head that I had experienced the year before with Kyle while at a party.
I was sitting at the round table with my three friends playing kings cup when suddenly Scott came bursting through the door. "You guys need to stay in here, I'm serious, why the fuck did I bring Kyle out here?" He questioned himself as he walked back outside. Being three eighteen year old girls, naturally, we went outside on the deck of the house to see what was going on. By the fire pit, there was Kyle holding a hand gun. Not to mention a chain saw was to the right of him on a bench. "Don't fucking come near me Scott, I swear I'll shoot you in the fucking head" Kyle yelled as he held the gun up. Suddenly he started shooting rounds into the air and behind his back without even looking at what he was shooting at. "Get inside" Scott yelled at us, we ran inside, all of us crying.. including his girlfriend. "He's always like this when he drinks.. I hate it, I'm so sorry guys" She said to Nicole and I as we sat side-by-side on a twin bed. Speechless, we all sat there in silence as we listened to Kyle shoot off rounds outside, hoping he wouldn't hit one of the guys. After about two minutes, Kyle stopped shooting the gun and yelling started. Most of it was jumbled together but the one sentence I remember clearly was Craig yelling "what the fuck is wrong with you man?" That's when the screen door came slamming down on the floor with Craig on top of it, Kyle had pushed him so hard it broke the hinges. "I'll fucking kill you man, you don't know what it's like to be me" he screamed at Craig. It took Joey, Scott, Bobby and Jerry to get him off of Craig and out the door. Craig sprinted out and grabbed the gun and chainsaw so Kyle couldn't get a hold of them. Luckily no one was hurt but Kyle was never allowed out to that house ever again.
I glance over at Martina and simply said, "Kyle is heartless, it does not surprise me one bit."
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Week 5
Adult Memoir
I put my keys in the ignition and started the truck. Flipping through all the channels trying to find music other than Adam Sandler's "Thanksgiving song." I finally gave up and turned the radio off. Driving out to my dad's house was something I rarely did, so whenever I drive out there, I see different scenery that went unnoticed before. The ten minute drive took me straight to his driveway and the first difference I recognized was my sister's car wasn't there, instead I saw a black GMC Envoy.
Is that a girl or a boy.... I wondered as I sat across from "it," trying to choke down my mash potato. It spoke with the whole family instead of me, except for the occasional "pass the salt" or "pass the butter." "Michelle, what do you do for work?" My father asked.. finally I knew what gender "it" was.
I tried my absolute best not to stare at Michelle. She had red hair which was cut in a style a man would have. She wore a white polo and did not have any jewelry anywhere. Her voice was even a little bit manly and she had much more in common with my dad than my step mom.. they were getting along like peanut butter and fluff. Although I knew she was a girl, there wren't any facial features that made her look like one.
Dinner remained somewhat awkward and my sister barely said a word to me. I left the house to head back home and decided to not tell my mom about the encounter.. it was probably nothing.
***
I was unwrapping my Subway sandwich when my mom walked through the door in her uniform. "We have something we have to talk about," she took a deep breath and set her suitcase on the floor and walked over to the table to take a seat across from me. "Okay, who is it about?" I asked, nervously, hoping she wouldn't say me. "It's about your sister and something she told your father recently."
***
Family events became awkward for the longest time. I was never sure if it was as strange for everyone else as it was for me. Michelle talked to me once and a while during a family conversation but never one on one. I felt weird around her, if she was attracted to my sister, was she attracted to me too?
I put my keys in the ignition and started the truck. Flipping through all the channels trying to find music other than Adam Sandler's "Thanksgiving song." I finally gave up and turned the radio off. Driving out to my dad's house was something I rarely did, so whenever I drive out there, I see different scenery that went unnoticed before. The ten minute drive took me straight to his driveway and the first difference I recognized was my sister's car wasn't there, instead I saw a black GMC Envoy.
Is that a girl or a boy.... I wondered as I sat across from "it," trying to choke down my mash potato. It spoke with the whole family instead of me, except for the occasional "pass the salt" or "pass the butter." "Michelle, what do you do for work?" My father asked.. finally I knew what gender "it" was.
I tried my absolute best not to stare at Michelle. She had red hair which was cut in a style a man would have. She wore a white polo and did not have any jewelry anywhere. Her voice was even a little bit manly and she had much more in common with my dad than my step mom.. they were getting along like peanut butter and fluff. Although I knew she was a girl, there wren't any facial features that made her look like one.
Dinner remained somewhat awkward and my sister barely said a word to me. I left the house to head back home and decided to not tell my mom about the encounter.. it was probably nothing.
***
I was unwrapping my Subway sandwich when my mom walked through the door in her uniform. "We have something we have to talk about," she took a deep breath and set her suitcase on the floor and walked over to the table to take a seat across from me. "Okay, who is it about?" I asked, nervously, hoping she wouldn't say me. "It's about your sister and something she told your father recently."
***
Family events became awkward for the longest time. I was never sure if it was as strange for everyone else as it was for me. Michelle talked to me once and a while during a family conversation but never one on one. I felt weird around her, if she was attracted to my sister, was she attracted to me too?
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